Twisting the Knife

Ed called today, not that this is surprising.  It is my son’s 15th birthday.  He called and wanted to come drop off a present.  I refused.  I reminded him that he had called twice since Easter and promised to spend time with him and never called back.  I informed Ed that this is his last chance.  He is supposed to call back tonight and wish my son a happy birthday and then call again another night this week.  We talked for a few minutes about the things that he has been missing and I took the opportunity to remind him that this is the only child he has left.  This spring that child has performed on the main stage at a local college.  He received his first ever high school letter and tomorrow he will get his driver’s permit.  He is becoming a man and the person who wanted to be his “father” can’t even make an effort to call him. 

He claims that he hadn’t been calling because he wanted to create distance between he and I.  Although he couldn’t explain why he was leaving messages on my voicemailat work with music if that was his intent.  (Is there anyone that this sounds like distance to?) I reminded him again that he is welcome to call here and talk to my son at any time but that the burden rests solidly on Ed.  It is not the responsibility of a child to make time for his parent.  Every week my son has called Ed’s parents to maintain the relationship.  Does that sound like someone who is keeping a child from the other person?

It felt good to stand up for my position.  Good to protect my son.  Good to be “mama bear”.  And as retched as this sounds it felt REALLY good to say mean and hurtful things to Ed.  It felt good to tell him that I cannot trust him and that he is a liar.  It felt good to remind him that he choose some whore over the only child that he can even contact.  And it felt GREAT to remind him that I am not keeping my son from him, but assuring his safety when he wants to visit.  Today I am EMPOWERED! 


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