Not My Failure

Ok so there it is in Black and White…. or whatever color you have your screen set to =)  Ed’s destruction, self-destruction and subsequent homelessness, poor decisions and return to the path of addiction are NOT MY FAILURE. 

It takes a lot to accept that… some work to believe it… and it eases my SOUL to say it out loud.  I cannot save him from himself, Nancy the whore, or from the addictions that have taken their toll in every single part of his life. 

My son played an AMAZING game last night, and he only has one more left for the year.  And Ed, who insists to people that he is his father, and actually served as one for many years, hasn’t seen one single game.  It hurts that I supported Ed in getting his life together and now he has thrown it away, and I will probably be FOREVER sad that he can’t get back into his recovery and have the life that he honestly deserves.  I guess I’ll have to have a little hope.  But that doesn’t mean I work in his gravity or that I help him in any way…. I just means that I hope!

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