Forgiveness

I am really struggling with forgiveness.  I just can’t bring myself to forgive Ed for the bad things that he has done to me.  I can’t forgive his addictions either. 

Thanksgiving morning started with a call from my mom, to let me know that Ed’s ex-best friend had called me.  Since the Escort has been missing from in front of Nancy’s house I wondered if Ed had moved in with the ex-best friend and the call was Ed begging for space in our life.  I had planned a houseful for Thanksgiving Day so I decided to wait it out.  I called back on Saturday to find that he was just wanting the phone number for our old landlord.  Evidently Ed told him about a year ago that the landlord wouldn’t rent to him, and when his “friend” called the landlord and asked directly he was informed that it was because Ed had been lying to the landlord and telling him that the friend had stolen money from him or refused to pay him other money.

I wonder if he is truly a pathological liar or simply a sociopath… so glad to be out and free of him.  I have to remind myself that I loved and cared about him when he was recovery Ed and that pain-pill Marion is the person he returned to.  Living with an addict is very much like living with someone with an untreated personality disorder.

I did talk to Ed’s mom over the weekend.  She was nice to me as always, but she has stopped talking about Ed.  I suspect the pain is too much for her as well.

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