Quitter

One of the things that I understand least about Ed is his long history as a quitter.  When the going gets tough Ed bails.  Completely!  When his first marriage when down the tubes he filed for a divorce and ran to Reno, when his ex-wife chased him there to give him a piece of her mind he fled to Florida and eventually came back to Nebraska.  He wouldn’t suck it up and be a parent so his first wife gave away their children.  Ed and his family have a million excuses for why he didn’t fight their relinquishment but I suspect that the real reason is because Ed had no interest or motivation to fight.  He is a quitter. 

If something is easy (eating, watching tv, surfing the internet) Ed will latch on and cling to the easiest way as though it were a life raft.  When things get challenging or Ed is confronted with his behavior he runs…. he may run to a different location, he may run to a different addiction, he may run to a different person but he cannot take the heat.

When we were in marriage counseling (he picked the counselor) he refused to return after the counselor told him that if he wanted to save his marriage he couldn’t lie to his wife.  No lying directly, no lying indirectly, not hiding anything, being completely open and vulnerable.  That was obviously too much of a commitment.  I should have finalized my divorce that week…. not 2 years later.

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