Archive for March, 2010

Closing a Chapter

March 30, 2010

Yesterday afternoon I went to the bank to change to my new married name.  It was pretty exciting.  Then I closed out the account that Ed and I had shared.  It broke the final bond between the two of us.

Friday afternoon I hired a dog walker for my mom, while I was out showing her the loop Ed drove past.  I had a mini meltdown but maintained my cool the best I could.  Then I called my husband and said that I had seen him drive by and was a bit concerned that he would be waiting for me at my mom’s house.  I had a terrible Hollywood image of walking back into my mom’s house to find him waiting there with a gun.  My husband buzzed the house and didn’t see him.  When we left, we drove back out through the new section of the neighborhood, where he was hanging out at a rental property.  I thought that he was working because his car is often gone from Nancy the Whore’s in the afternoon, guess he just moves his butt to a different couch.

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Spring Break

March 23, 2010

Yesterday was the very first day of spring break for my son.  I took the day off.  Last year during spring break my new husband (we were engaged then) and I took my son to Florida for a week.  Right before we left I took my things out of our old apartment and I found out about Nancy the Whore.  The entire week I wasn’t really able to relax.  I was stressed about what might happen next and the abuse that I would be subjected to by Pain Pill Marion, who would have been amazingly effective as a terrorist – except that it probably would have been too much work for him!  When I got home I had to deal with the local police since I had taken my cat and he called her in as catnapped.  When I pushed him and informed him that he would have to pay her veterinary and licensing costs and her prescription food he was more than happy to stop fighting. 

Yesterday I had the greatest day!  I took off work, slept in a bit and then my son and I worked on things at our old house and got things put away at our new house… we enjoyed the sunshine and I didn’t have any fear at all about Ed or his power over us.  It felt really nice!

Destiny and the Future

March 18, 2010

This might sound funny or inappropriate or maybe even sad, but…. I knew before I got married to my first husband that it wouldn’t last forever.  Retrospectively I wish I would have never been with him and especially never married him, however, I know that I learned a lot about life and about myself from being with him.

I really learned about what I didn’t want to live like.  The “thrill” and “excitement” that Ed offered in my life were absolutely dangerous and once I matured as an adult and stopped being “bulletproof” I knew that I had to get out, forever.  Even after we left, Ed did everything in his power to bully me. 

It has been a year since we’ve spoken regularly.  Sometimes I hope that he is well, sometimes I hope that he is suffering, something I hope that he will regain his sobriety and have a good life again, sometimes I hope that he’ll die and get it over with and sometimes… sometimes I wish that he will realize all that he has lost and feel terrible.  Heartbroken and miserable, sick from the terrible things that he did to us.  It is a sad thing to wish that someone will grow a conscience.

So Far So Fast

March 16, 2010

A year ago this week I found out about Nancy the Whore.  Ed lied about where he was going, what he was doing, and who he was doing it with.  It gave me the opportunity to get the rest of my things from the apartment and to tell him what I thought of him. 

I am off next Monday and I’m planning to spend part of the day sorting through some of the things that I took a year ago… deciding what to keep, what to put on the garage sale and what to get rid of… it feels funny that it’s been a whole year.

Alternately, it has been a year since I started planning my second wedding, and almost exactly a year since my new husband and I closed on our house… and we love it just as much today as we did then.  I’m looking forward to my happily ever after, and leaving that ugly, old, bald, perverted asshole to rot with his ugly, rude, lazy, disgusting, geriatric, whore.

Sometimes

March 9, 2010

The world works in the oddest ways.  My new mother-in-law can be pretty inconsiderate…. she hasn’t warmed all the way to my son as a part of her life.  She likes him, heck, she might even love him in her own way…. but she isn’t really willing to commit to him as a grandchild.

My ex-mother-in-law was so much different.  My biggest problem was that sometimes, she would come down to see my son and get distracted by her son (my ex) being an ass or by her friends missing her and offering her a good time.  The thing is though, that she always LOVED my son… she wanted to see him and she wanted to recognize all the things in his life.  When I first met my ex she made me promise that she could always be a part of my baby’s life, even if things didn’t work out between Ed and I.  My new MIL only seems to have time for my son if there is nothing else going on… my in-laws are willing to step in and DO things for him (take him to school when we’re out-of-town, etc) but it just doesn’t seem like they LOVE him…. and maybe that’s just too much to ask.

Spring

March 1, 2010

This month is a year since I found out about Nancy the Whore.  Admittedly there are some things that I like about it that are very selfish.  I’m SO glad that she can pay Ed’s bills and that I don’t have to hear about him and money.  I’m still disappointed that he lied to me and that he left my son with no notice, BUT…. 

I decided to talk to my son last week on the way home about whether he wanted to see Ed any more.  I’ve reported before that Ed was the only dad my son ever knew…. and interestingly the response from my 15-year-old was “not necessarily”.  He still feels like he’s been dumped.  He feels like Ed just walked away from him and wasn’t willing to care about him….. so for the time being there will be no discussion, and no visitation.  I had considered calling Ed this morning to tell him that for the moment Erik was going to watch and wait… but I’m saved the chore because Ed’s phone has been disconnected.  Again.

No telling if this is because he didn’t or couldn’t pay the bill, or if it was because Nancy refused to pay it.  Maybe it was because she knew he had left me a message asking that I call him at that number and she is still so insecure and untrusting (rightfully so with him) that she disconnected the phone instead of risking that he would talk to me!

Ewwww

March 1, 2010

Nancy Ruwe

She’s just a little uglier every time that she updates…. this is what Facebook nightmares are made of!  I think she’s got wrinkles on her wrinkles =)