Hit List

So Ed and Nancy and whoever they shared the information with have been hitting my blog pretty regularly.  I wasn’t sure at first what to do with that knowledge.  Would I tell them what I thought of both them?  Lay bare everything else that I know?  But I decided this is still my journal.  Even though I have a lot to say about the two of them, it is ultimately about me. 

In one week my son will be driving…. pretty wild to think about.  When I met Ed my “baby” was still in diapers and Ed would take care of him in the evenings while I went to class.  Ed spent a lot of years as a really great dad, and then he just walked away.  He can make any and every excuse that he wants, but the truth is that he couldn’t take time to see my son last year on his birthday and since that time he has only taken the opportunity to see him three times.  He didn’t even bother to call and say Merry Christmas.   A week ago I got e-mail’s from Ed about how sorry he was for the terrible things that he did to me… maybe he’s sorry, and maybe he’s not.  I suspect that he’s not happy that his choices landed him in his current situation, but really, those were his choices.  I begged him to be the person he was all those years ago and instead he chose pornography, gambling, prescription medications and a nearly destitute life with a woman who hates him more than she loves him.  It’s never what I would have chosen for Ed, but ultimately, he is the one who made the decision.

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