It was REALLY sad

When Ed and I were married we were always waiting for news that his father would be very ill and maybe not make it.  2 months ago my dad went into the hospital for a routine surgical procedure.  The problem was that he was septic at admission. 

While on vacation I received a call that things were taking a turn for the worse and he wouldn’t make it.  We packed up and flew to Florida to say goodbye.  It was an unbelievably hard few days, but I made it through and my dad passed away Wednesday 7/28/2010.

I have mentioned on this blog before that I married someone like my dad in the hopes that I could get different results.  The last two days I spent with my dad were in some ways cleansing, we didn’t work out our issues but I told him that I loved him and I provided whatever he needed.  Before I got to Florida, I dreamt that it was Ed who was dying instead and I was stressed because ,in my dream, I had to plan for his service and his end of life care.  I’m sure it was just some kind of transference since the two are so much alike but it was sad, and heart breaking and painful, that in the end, there wouldn’t be enough people to care about him.

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