Support Systems

When things were bad in my marriage and Ed was at his worst I was really embarrassed and afraid of what people would think of me for staying with someone who was so terrible for me.  In the beginning I really believed that Ed wanted to be a better person and that with some education, training, and time in the work force he would grow up and be reasonable and responsible.

As I was coming out of our marriage I realized that there were still plenty of people who loved and cared about me.  And even more that had been praying, watching me feel bad, but waiting until I was ready to ask for help.   Yesterday when I was mowing I thought about the number of people who told me they knew how long it had been since I was happy. 

I have an awesome support system, people who love and care and are willing and able to help with any project or challenge I come across.  Ed’s support system has shrunk.  Dramatically.  When we met he was actively involved in his recovery and he had people who would have done anything for him.  I know, I was one of them.  In his current state, with Nancy the Whore, the drugs, the gambling, the lies he has told to friends and family to protect his addictions his circle has grown smaller and smaller.  And now, there is almost no support to keep him going, which I suspect makes him even more abusive than the terrible man he became before I left.

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