Safe Quarters

Every year in my hometown there is a community effort with walking teams who go door-to-door asking people for spare change to help with a local program for battered women who have left their abusers.  This year their drive made $98,000.

When I left Ed I thought long and hard about where I would go and how I would make things work.  I didn’t want to go into hiding because I didn’t want him to have that kind of power over me.  While I was nervous about staying in a place he knew and afraid of putting my family at risk, we really needed to go “home” and have our hearts and souls nurtured after all that we had endured.  I have often wondered if I had enough fear about the situation we put ourselves into when we left, and I consider a lot of the cat and mouse during the separation as a way to diffuse Ed’s anger. 

In some ways I am very glad that he is with Nancy.  It distracts his attention from us and the number of hours that he used to spend screaming and harassing me.  In other ways I will be forever disappointed.  Not just because of his lies, those were pretty awful, but because he ended up with someone who will repeat the sick cycle of abuse with him over and over again.  Someone who doesn’t want a better future for him.  And sadly, someone who is so selfish, that she doesn’t truly care about his well-being.


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