Bad Decisions

The last few days I’ve been thinking about my personal decision to be with Ed.  I was so young.  It’s hard to believe so many years have passed.  Personally, now that I’m in my 30’s, I can’t imagine being with someone so young!  Looking back at that time in my life I think I really wanted to be justified in my decision to keep my son even though I was a teenager and I always felt like I had something to prove to people.

As an adult, that part of me has mellowed.  I hate to sound like Jack Handy – but gosh darn it, people like me.  I am comfortable with myself, my choices, my marriage.  I don’t have to be something that other people want anymore.  Maybe being rid of Ed and losing my grandparents and my dad has opened a door for me to be myself. 

I made bad decisions before I was with ED, and several times while we were together.  My bad decisions hurt both of us and there are things I’m not proud of.  I have worked hard to own up to my regrets and move forward into a better place, but I still wonder, how long do bad decisions stay around to haunt us?

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