Nothing to Prove

It’s funny, as I’ve gotten older and more secure with myself and my new life I have less to “prove”.  I still want my house to be perfect when people come over to visit – I don’t know if that ever goes away.  But I feel much less nervous about if people like what I do or how I do it.  And I’ve grown a much bigger backbone about knowing when I’m right and staying in the fight.

As a grown-up, my goal is always to do the right thing for the right reason.  I don’t have to like it, bitching about it may or may not change the act of doing it, but I can get it done. 

I’ve learned a lot of valuable lessons in the last few years.  Being the “adult” in my divorce, continuing to work through my problems with a counselor and having a toxic ex-husband run off with a nasty old granny has taught me important lessons about who I am and how valuable I am.

Right now – less than a year from being done with school, successful at work, volunteering in a time-consuming position and sometimes feeling like I’m on top of the world makes up for a lot of the suffering I did before and a lot of the “beatings” that I took in the past when I was trying to prove to people that I was or wasn’t something that I thought I should be for them.

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