Almost Christmas

I forgot to celebrate the finalizing of my divorce again this year… I think it was yesterday…. or maybe it was Saturday.  At any rate, it has been 2 FULL years since it was finalized.  Thank God for getting me through that miserable time in my life. Ed didn’t show up in court.  It’s funny, even at the end of our time together he couldn’t man up and do what he was supposed to do. 

Christmas is just a few days a way. I haven’t sweated about money this year.  I didn’t last year either.  It’s pretty nice.  Comforting.  Responsible. 

I miss my dad a lot.  Much more than I expected.  And I cry more about the minor things.  It’s funny, when I started therapy I was still really angry with my dad and I looked a lot at the patterns that match between he and Ed.  I’ve come to accept some of his decisions, and parts of his personality and I miss the good things.  I think the saddest part continues to be that he never grew up to be what I wanted him to be, just like Ed.


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