Signing Day

It’s so funny to me that I associate so many football things with Ed.  When we met he loved Nebraska football and his friend “Pookey” loved the Raiders.  We had lots of football parties over the years and during the extended season it seemed like some of Ed’s buddies lived at our house.  We played along and made it work, in fact, I think we all had a lot of fun those days and I don’t even like football.  In 2000 as a special “surprise” present for Ed I bought him a 65 inch big screen tv.  It was fun for sports, and weird for everything else.   

Today is the signing day for college athletes.  My son is home from school for a snow day and has been keeping up to date with where people are going.  This year it is personally exciting for our family because we know a few of the athletes who are signing.  I wondered this morning if Ed was working, or watching tv, or if he was sleeping through it in a pill induced haze.  All I really ever wanted was for him to grow up and have a good life.  Now all I really want is to know that he is clean, and headed the right direction.  It’s odd.  While I cannot forgive him for what I went through, I still want to keep the hope that he can have a good and productive life.  Maybe it was all the time I put in to making that happen for him.


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