To My 18 Year Old Self

Ok cool, you are done with high school and working full-time.  Losing Michael to the military is going to be the most painful thing that you have experienced up to this point, and sometimes you will still wonder if you did the right thing.  You were completely head over heels for him, but he still wasn’t enough.  It’s ok, in a few more years you’ll rope the right one.  Try to keep in contact with him and make sure that he sees our baby =) it will make life easier in the future.

Stop running around with the guy who doesn’t want kids, you have one already, you won’t be able to lobby him to your side.  Besides, he has some bumps in the road with recreational drug use, you don’t need to get in the middle of that!

Stop dating older guys, seriously, it’s enough.  In the long run you will want a best friend and partner, someone that you can share everything with, not someone that you’ll be a nursemaid for.  For that matter, leave the AA and NA guys out of the picture, you aren’t old enough to clearly understand alcoholism and addiction, you’re smart, but sheltered when it comes to dealing with addictive personalities!  When you meet Ed listen to the voice in the back of your head that says to RUN, he is a MASTER MANIPULATOR and he will make your life a living hell, he will do worse than anything any boy has ever done to you. 

Get excited about college and figure out how to work part-time instead of full-time while you go. It seems expensive now, but it will only cost more in the future.  Just because you can’t “go away” to school like you wanted to doesn’t mean that you aren’t worth a degree.  When Bryan School of Nursing calls and accepts you into the program TAKE IT!!! Don’t make any excuses, you can do your pre-reqs and classes at the same time.

Eat your vegetables and quit smoking.  You’re going to do it in the future anyway, might as well save the money!  Take your birth control pills religiously and don’t think that your body will be better without them, especially when you aren’t involved with anyone, it won’t be, you are going to make things worse, much worse!

Keep living at home, you have plenty of opportunities to do your own thing in the future.  It will be much better for the baby if there is always power, hot water and groceries.  In less than 15 years you will have everything you want, security, a home of your own, a man who thinks you hung the moon and a world of opportunity for your career.  Take a deep breath, I know this is a lot to think about!

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