Signs of Addiction

If you have a few minutes, you might want to check out

Sometimes when I read things like this it feels like researchers spent 10 years looking in the windows at us.  About 3 months after we got married (1997) Ed started taking narcotic pain pills.  And he never got back off of them.  Two of the points in the signs of addiction article are pain that never ends and sickness without cause.  When Ed got to the end of a prescription and had to wait 3-4 days until he could get a refill he would go through obvious withdrawal.  Vomiting, abdominal pain, headaches, anxiety, insomnia, and aggressive behavior.  Because his body and brain were overflowing with opioids, he had a high tolerance and relished additional health problems because it would mean more drugs.

I didn’t see all of this when I was living it.  I mean of course I had my suspicions, but I so badly didn’t want to believe it.  This was a doubly complicated position for me because I worked my tail off getting Ed through school to be an addictions counselor, and getting him help or having an intervention would have compromised his ability to work, just like getting ticketed for abusing me would have compromised his ability to get a counseling license.  I should have left years before I did.  I should have gone to Al-Anon, I should have made an ultimatum early in marriage counseling, back in 1999 and said treatment or divorce, those are your only choices.  It’s so much easier looking at things outside the situation than it was while we were inside it being manipulated and terrorized!  I am so thankful every day that we are free of that life!


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