That Kind Of Husband

It’s funny how a passing comment will make you think about different things.  Someone complimented my husband yesterday morning and his willingness to help me with different things.  I have always told people that we make an excellent team, and we do.  It is so much different from my first marriage that I guess in some ways it’s still a surprise when other people notice.

In the early days, before Ed decided he was happier being sick and addicted, he was a good parent and an average husband.  It isn’t like he was always this demented addict who didn’t care about anything but pills, porn, gambling and the internet.  I suspect our divorce was confusing for people who remembered Ed as the dedicated parent taking my son to swimming lessons, and baseball games, and cheering him on in micro soccer.  What they probably didn’t see was the dad who was so wasted on pain pills that he couldn’t get out of bed for Saturday morning football practice.  The dad who was more interested in the computer than he was in playing outside.  Or the man who promised to take a little boy to the movies, but took his girlfriend out instead. 

I’m lucky today to have a working team.  I cannot imagine what my life would be like if I had stayed with Ed.  My son wouldn’t have a car.  I would probably still be living in a rental in a high-risk part of the city.  I wouldn’t be a few months away from graduating college.  And Ed would probably be the same person that he has been for the last 10 years.  Trying to do as little as possible.  Ignoring the harm that he causes and the opportunities he takes away.  Focused on himself and the trivial things that occur in the life of a virtually home bound addict.  I am so happy that I’m free and that I have finally begun to share my life with someone who cares as much for me as I do for them!

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