I had an oddly disturbing dream Saturday night.  It was part cop drama, part mystery, part Lifetime movie.  I had to find two missing people.  One had been missing for 3 weeks, the other for just a few days.  The first missing person was an ex-boyfriend.  A guy who was almost as toxic to me as Ed was.  The second missing person was the girl that he dated after I left him.  The have been broken up for a long time so I’m not sure what tied them together in my brain. 

I had to track them in a parking garage that had multiple stories and search each area in an effort to find them.  I finally found her tied to a concrete column.  She was alive but cold and scared.  I found him dead in the trunk of a car.  In my dream I felt so bad for her being tied up and cold for three days with no one caring to find her.  In comparison I registered almost no emotion at finding him dead after several weeks of being missing.  I haven’t seen him in several years so maybe that was part of the detachment.

I felt lost, and disoriented, cold and tired while I was searching and in my dream there were many times that I wanted to give up looking.  A dream interpretation website notes that often when you dream about garages it follows a period of idleness in your life when you feel as though you are lacking direction in achieving your goals.  That is a perfect description of the way I felt with the guy who died in my dream.  I was completely spinning my wheels and I didn’t know how things would come out.  The same site says that a car trunk represents things that you are carrying around with you.  While I have always thought I was over that ex, apparently a part of me still felt cheated and played.  I think that the longer I can be really loved and cherished the more I’ll be able to let go these painful things from the past.  I made so many mistakes when I was younger and now I seem to be looking for closure on those foolish decisions!


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