Using the System

The degree I’m working on is in Healthcare Management.  Sometimes my classwork reminds me of Ed and all his “illnesses”.  Odd.  I know.  Believe me.  I find it absolutely bizarre and I’m the one who thinks of it. 

One of the topics in my textbook last week was about living in chaos and change.  My life now is quiet, almost easy… although I hate to say that too loudly.  I’m busy, don’t get me wrong, and I roll with the punches…. but I think that a lot of my skill, my calm and my flexibility came from the time in my life that was with Ed.  I had a REALLY hard job with really difficult people and I had him and his “dry drunk” conditions from time to time and eventually his narcotic addiction to face daily.  My counselor mentored me through a lot of that.  He helped me to see what kinds of reactions worked, what didn’t and how I could live in a state of readiness and proactivity instead of a climate full of chaos and reactions.

Ed used the healthcare system to feed the beast.  He visited doctors and Emergency Departments and at the end of his time in Lincoln I suspect that he was pharmacy hopping to get more and more drugs.  I hope that he has gotten back into some kind of recovery program.   I am glad to be free from the torments of his addiction.  I suppose someday I will benefit from al-anon or nar-anon but right now, I just don’t have the time.


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