Archive for August, 2011

20/20

August 29, 2011

Last night I was REALLY worn out, too much week, too much weekend, too many things going on =)  So when we climbed into bed I alternated between the 2011 MTV Video Music Awards (VMA) and a re-run of 20/20.  Yes, I did see Lady Gaga’s alter ego – he’s hot =)

The re-run of 20/20 had me hooked.  It was about an 18-year-old girl who becomes involved in an internet relationship with a man she thinks is a 19-year-old marine, but who is actually a 46-year-old married father of two.  The girl finds out and starts a different relationship with another of the man’s co-worker’s, who is younger.  Soon, everyone the older man works with knows that he has been lying about his identity on the internet.  The younger man is then shot to death in the parking lot at work and the older man is charged (and later convicted) in the shooting.

While investigating, the police attempt to contact the 18-year-old woman, only to find out it is really a 47 year old woman who is PRETENDING to be her 18-year-old daughter.  Sexy pictures, phone sex, and all. 

When we were married, Ed would sneak out of bed at night and lurk in AOL chatrooms.  All I could think about while I was watching 20/20 were the lies that the internet can promote.  The older man knew that what he was doing was wrong, and yet he couldn’t stop himself – he fully admitted that he was addicted to the girl.  The older woman who was deceiving both of them knew that she was doing something that could (and did) ruin people’s lives and she kept right on going.  Both of these selfish acts made me think of Ed, and when he would get caught in this kind of behavior, he would blame ME for it.  Thank God, those days are past!

Granola Girl

August 25, 2011

While I am suspicious that all 16-25 year old girls go through some period of time where they explore their inner hippie I was dramatically reconnected with mine last night.  Don’t get me wrong, in today’s world my family eats a fair amount of organic produce, I like exploring new foods, and I have spent my fair share of time in coffee houses and co-op markets. 

Last night I had to meet a friend to work on finalizing a band fundraiser.  We met at a coffee-house in the historical district.  It was open mike night.  When I was 18 I spent a lot of time “hanging out” at the Purple Moon.  It was a coffee-house almost in the ghetto.  I met Ed and his roommate there.  I met other guys that I dated before Ed too.  Last night was almost like a flashback on what I had experienced at that young age, and honestly, all I wanted to do was leave.  It was too loud, the people were too different, I couldn’t get comfortable with the experience.  I have never been happier to get home, to my normal suburban lifestyle – complete with dog poop service and curbside recycling. 

There might be a little granola girl left, I still love camping and hiking, I want to spend time outdoors and appreciate the world, but the thrill of spending time among the “creative” has been replaced with the thrill of riding 700 miles in one summer and the thrill of having a nest egg, just in case.

In the Home Stretch

August 16, 2011

Three months from this Friday I will be done with college.  Pretty wild!  I always figured that Ed would finish his degree first but he quit instead.  I think there are psychological studies about people who quit during the home stretch.   I don’t have time to read them at the moment.

This year my son is playing varsity football.  He could use a bigger ego, and a few more inches of height, but he’s enjoying himself, and doing a good job.  The last few weeks have been busy,  the next few will be hectic/frantic, but in the end it will all be worth it.  Now that I’m two years out from dealing with Ed, and almost three years out from being divorced I feel better.  Mostly human, and much less afraid.  Now to get rid of the rest of his stuff!