Archive for October, 2011

Marital Morality

October 31, 2011

For my class this week I had to write about marital morality and if an increase in marriages and a decrease in divorces would improve society.  I think it is the hardest paper I have ever written. 

I was raised by a divorced mother who refused to fit any stereotype and I became a teenage mother who refused to fit any stereotype.  I am on my second marriage, and I wish that the first had either NEVER happened or that the outcome could have been different.  The problem is that I am so happy in my second marriage and pleased with the way that my life came out that I don’t know how I would have gotten here if my first marriage hadn’t tanked so badly.  Doesn’t that sound funny? But truly, my life is good because of what I endured and that I have a respect for all the good things that have been able to come my way. 

It’s funny how our goals, paths, objectives and ideas can change so much over time!


Burning Down the House

October 20, 2011

Our old apartment building caught fire last weekend.

The fire was on the top floor, we lived on the first floor.  Monday I was in the area and drove by.  There isn’t any damage visible from the outside, and other than peeling paint, the house looks the same. It’s so funny, even with the bad things that happened there and all the house’s quirks I still love it!  The wood floors were dark and familiar (we used to have to pound nails back in), there were no electrical outlets in the bathroom, the windows leaked a TON of cold air, the shower had drain problems, the dining room ceiling leaked, there was only window air, the houses were stacked on top of each other and there were no temperatures marked on the oven knob… but it was a great house.  There was something about it.  Maybe it was because I have great memories from my son’s childhood associated with it.  Maybe it’s because I got out alive. 

The woman who lives in my old apartment had a tragedy right after she moved in.  Her boyfriend died in an accident at a lake that Ed liked to go to.  Even though the people who have had that building as their home are scarred on the inside, they look normal on the outside, just like the house.  Hopefully our landlord lands on his feet.  He’s a good guy with a heart of gold and we wouldn’t have made it without him either.

Frustrated and Tired

October 5, 2011

There is this thing in recovery called HALT – it is supposed to tell the addict that when they get into a certain mind frame they need to stop and re-evaluate.  HALT stands for Hungry, Angry, Lonely and Tired.  Today I am STARVING and EXHAUSTED.  I have been burning the candle at both ends for weeks and I almost feel hopeless.  I’m not sure if I’m ANGRY, but I’m definitely annoyed that things just can’t seem to fall into place right now and with my kid running 16 hour days and my husband on the road for work I might fall into lonely.  I would hate to say that I am overwhelmed since I took all of this week on myself but I think a good hard cry or a glass of wine might make things better. 

I have 6 weeks left of college and I have never wanted to quit something so badly in my life.  Hopefully the break will feel good before I start grad school.  I wish that I had done college when I was younger!