Being Amber

It’s no secret that I need a little bad tv from time to time.  I like the Real Housewives but only Atlanta and Orange County.  Over the weekend I watched some Teen Mom and then part of the new series with individual follow-ups.  I have always been somewhat annoyed by the Amber and Gary situation.  Gary is a crazy manipulator and he always reminds me of people who I don’t like.  And not just because he is a fat whiney slob.  The show on Sunday with Amber saying “You made me promises and strung me along” is on a loop in my brain.  It makes me think about Ed and his resistance to letting me get on with my life. 

When we first went to marriage counseling one of the things the counselor asked was about my past serious relationships.  Even though I had dated a lot, and had a kid when I was a teenager, Ed was the first person I lived with, the first person that I was “independent” with.  While it is obvious that divorce is final, many people can continue to be civil to one another.  That isn’t Ed and I.

Watching Gary when Amber was explaining her pain and frustration hit really close to home.  She gave up a lot for him, she put up with a lot from him, and he was TRULY enjoying having two women who were emotionally tied up in their interactions with him.  That smirk, that justification for bad behavior, saying that he would always love her.  That is the kind of business that Ed pulled.    That abusive pattern where people try to get what they want without caring for the other person makes me crazy.  I think that jail made a huge difference in Amber’s life and I hope that she can move on and live her dreams.  Hopefully her bad experiences with Gary will help her to quickly recognize predators in the future.


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